Year of the Monkey

Another year has gone by, and it will be my birthday in a couple of days. August 3rd, the personalized New Year's Day for me. Nothing has happened that makes me want to make me celebrate. I'm not riddled with accomplishments. I am Jack's angry bile-filled contempt.

That nothing noteworthy has transpired is not the only problem, but it is the most persistent one. I don't think my parents understand when I want to not celebrate my birthday anymore. It isn't just that 18 or 19 really is the cut-off for childish celebration simply for being here, I'll be 28. It isn't just that I feel like a loser. It is more than that, and it is less than that. It just is.

Maybe next year.

---

Weak And Powerless

Tilling my own grave to keep me level
Jam another dragon down the hole
Digging to the rhythm and the echo of a solitary siren
one that pushes me along, and leaves me so

Desperate and ravenous, So weak and powerless, Over you

Someone feed the monkey
while I dig in search of China
White as dracula, As I approach the bottom

Desperate and ravenous, So weak and powerless, Over you

Little angel go away, Come again some other day
The devil has my ear today, I'll never hear a word you say
He promised I would find a little, Solace and some peace of mind
Whatever, just as long as I don't feel so

Desperate and ravenous, So weak and powerless
Desperate and ravenous, So weak and powerless, Over you

- A Perfect Circle, Thirteenth Step